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How to Persuade Your Partner to Participate in a Threesome…

Let’s face it, most threesome initiatives are started by males. There are exceptions of course, however in the vast majority of cases it’s the guys that come up with the idea…

If the female is the one with the initiative or if both of you are convinced about pursuing the threesome fantasy, you’re one step ahead.

However if you’d like to experience a threesome and you’ve never discussed it with your partner, you might need some guidelines to help you persuading her into participating in your fantasy.

The first thing that you’ve got to take into consideration is that women place high values on the pair-bond.

Women are very apprehensive of anyone and anything threatening the health and longevity of the relationship between her and her partner.

For most women, a threesome carries risks she’s not eager to accept. The first giant obstacle you’ll face will be to overcome her insecurity.

Besides the social conditioning she was raised with, there are some obstacles that need to be cleared before she can be enthusiastic about inviting someone else into an intimate session.

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Any woman who truly cares about you worries about the relationship, with all the classic fears and uncertainty about your love. You have to understand that she often asks herself; “Does he love me fully?”

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“Does he love only me?”

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“Does he really like me the way I am?”

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“Am I woman enough to keep him satisfied?”

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“Will he leave me for a younger/firmer/prettier woman?”

Filled with uncertainty and jealously she will defend her turf against all possible threats.

The only responsible person to ease the above mentioned issues is the male in the relationship. Happy, secure, confident women aren’t very jealous.

What Behavior Triggers Her Insecurity?

If your partner is jealous, the root might stem from your own behavior. If you recognize yourself in some of this behavior, your partner has every right to feel insecure about your relationship:

* You’ve frequently expressed yourdissatisfaction about her

* You constantly criticize her and never compliment her

* You flirt with every cute woman you see

* You stay out all night from time to time

* You’ve habitually expressed your discontent with your life and your relationship

* You only touch her while having sex and you don’t express your love often

* You’ve threatened to leave her

Any of these types of behavior will rapidly turn into insecurity, resentment and a constant jealousy. The insecure woman’s worst nightmare is another female in her life and the last thing she’ll do is invite another woman into your bed.

Remember: your partner has to feel very secure of your relationship before she grants you a threesome. So make sure you never threaten your relationship. It doesn’t matter how angry or upset you become. She needs to know that you guys are an item and nothing will ever break your bond.
Female Security is the number 1 Point of Consideration

If you want her to be sexually confident, you must work very hard to make her secure in your love. If you’re serious about taking your sex life to a level where a threesome can occur you’ll need to make your partner so happy, so positive, so confident and so secure in your love that she’s unafraid to share you with another woman.
What can I do to make her feel secure?

* Compliment her and show her how much you love her on a regular base. Write her a loving card, buy her flowers, cuddle up with her on the sofa, whisper in her ear how beautiful she is; there are lot’s of small things you can do that have major positive impacts. Feeling loved, accepted and secure are powerful female aphrodisiacs. She’ll be much more loving if she feels you’re happy with her.

* Avoid silly remarks about her looks at all costs, especially if they’re things that she cannot change. Avoid telling her that she’s fat. Instead of making negative remarks, try to compliment her as often as possible.

* Don’t flirt with her friends unless you’ve got her approval. If she believes your threesome is just a devious plot to bonk her best friend, you’ve got no chance of ever pulling it off.

* Before you tell her about your intentions of having a threesome, you must be sure she’s certain that a threesome isn’t threatening her relationship with you.
Persuasion

It may very well be that your lover fantasizes about a threesome too, but has been afraid or embarrassed to admit it. Contrary to men, women seldom speak to the point and often beat around the bush before telling you what they actually want. If you want her to talk about her fantasies, you can encourage her by:

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Listening to her. Magic words for women are “Interesting, please tell me more.” Then all you need to do is shut up, listen and learn.

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Being supportive of her opinions and ideas. If you criticize or invalidate her, she’ll not reveal her private thoughts.

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Affirming that you consider all her desires to be perfectly normal. Acknowledge her fantasies.

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Making her more receptive to your fantasy by assuring her that bisexual desires don’t depreciate her value as a lifelong partner. Tell her that diverse fantasies make her more interesting, alluring and captivating as a sexual partner.

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No pushing her into something that scares her. Allow her to become accustomed to the idea. Let her explore the thoughts with you. Women work out their problems by discussing them; encourage her to talk to you.

Using the Right Words

Females are much more fined tuned when it comes to using the right words. A common mistake from males when attempting to persuade their partners is to use the wrong the words or the right words at the wrong time.

For example, if she fantasizes about having a threesome with a male friend, insensitive guys ask things like: “Would you like to suck his cock?” or “Would you like to feel his dick up your ass?”

This is a normal thing to say for a guy, but I can assure you that this type of vocabulary is not appreciated by women.

If she mentions that she fancies a threesome with a female friend, an insensitive guy might be silly enough to ask “Would you like taste her pussy?” or “Would you like her to suck yours?” These kinds of comments go too far, too fast, too soon.

In some cases, I know of guys disclosing their fantasies saying things like this: “I’d like to have sex with two women at once.” As you can imagine this won’t go down so well with her.

It’s always better to say: “I’d like to share you with another woman.” This confirms you’re not replacing her and she’s still the center of your world.

One very important point: when she asks you who that woman would be, your best bet is not to mention any name. Tell her the choice would be hers.

This removes any suspicion that you have already done “research” on your project and eases her fear that you want someone she doesn’t like. Besides, this’ll also get her involved in the process.

From the moment you’ve cleared this issue, arranging a threesome will be a piece of cake! Read More….

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The Ideal Candidate For A Threesome…

If I will ask you: Who would you think will be the most open candidate to share the bed with you and your girlfriend or wife…

What would be your answer?
1. A Divorced Woman
2. A Teen Age Beauty Queen
3. A Married Woman
4. A Single Woman I just Met
5. A Single Mom
6. Other

In our eyes the best candidate to enjoy threesome sex not once but many times will be a single mom!

Read this article in full and you will discover why you boost your chances of having a threesome by 300% by simply following this recommendation!

At this moment in life my husband and I have no children. We’ve simply made that choice. I am not sure if we will ever have children. I guess only time will tell. However most of our friends have children and also several of our friends are single moms…

As I we are not parents yet, somehow is hard for us to understand the complexities of parenthood. However we are very familiar with the subject of dating. We know that dating is hard as it is, then adding the element of kids makes it even harder.

Some time ago while having a conversation with a friend of ours, my husband made a very interesting discovery…

Our friend has a 12 year old daughter, and she was telling us how hard it is for her to find men to go out with. I was simply being supportive and nodding, however suddenly I saw my hubby’s face illuminating and looking at me with his really naughty look. I could hardly concentrate on what my friend was saying, because I knew he was up to something.

After my friend left he told me; Suzy, do you realize than more than 70% of the women we have seduced are single mothers? I thought for a while and said, mmm, that’s interesting! After a long conversation with him, I gathered all the notes of our brainstorm session and compiled them here for you…

It’s sad but true. According to my husband, most guys realize that dating single moms has it’s complications.

Guys are aware of it , and they are overly cautious when dating single mothers…

For starters, single mothers are first and foremost dedicated to their children, (as it should be). Most guys realize that they’ll never be the “top priority” in her life. So they play their cards very carefully.

When they go out, she’s going to have to find a babysitter for the kids. She can’t do this too often, so their “outings” are going to be limited. Further, this gets very expensive, very quickly - so, instead of getting a sitter, she will begin to include them in their time together. Suddenly he’ll be paying for meals, theatre tickets, plane trips, and any other expense that come up while they are together.

In short, unless he’s just dying to have a pre-made family, he will sooner rather than later end the relationship, leaving the poor single mom broken hearted.

After the relationship ends, a new problem starts: Nobody loves a parade. Most single mom’s agree that they prefer their children NOT to see them with different guys. So they either stop dating for a while or they will ‘hide’ their dates from their kids, until the relationship has progressed enough to introduce the kids to ‘mommy’s boyfriend’ all over again.

To add insult to injury, many single moms will tend to be on their early or mid thirties. This means that they are at their sexual peak. Meaning single moms will have a tendency to go to the horny side of the scale to say the least!

O.k. Now, you see the challenges they face, right?

Now, here’s how you as a couple can help her and at the same time make your fantasy come true…

If you happen to know or meet a single mom, keep all this elements in mind. You know she has difficulties on the dating department, at the same time she is on her peak sexual years, possibly she has not had her nooky in months, or even years. So she will welcome any opportunity.

It couldn’t get better than this! You know now that she will be ready and willing. Arrange and pay for a whole night baby sitter, prepare your seduction in a way that you will make her feel like a queen. Make her feel loved, desired and cherished. Pamper her, massage her, focus 100% of your attention on her and trust me she will love you for it!

She will be eternally thankful and best of all you will not break her heart!

The most incredible thing is that by simply knowing this, you can develop many friendships with other single moms and you can enjoy threesome sex with them also.

In fact we have 3 single mom friends with whom we enjoy threesome sex once in a while. In fact with two of them I also enjoy intimate moments without my hubby being present.

In our eyes single mom’s are the best candidates to enjoy threesome sex from our entire list of possible candidates.

I’m sure that you will really enjoy this revelation!

If you would like to learn more how to seduce a single mom into joining you and your wife or girlfriend into a threesome go to:
www.stepbystepthreesomes.com

Female Bisexuality is Becoming Hip and Trendy…

Q: What do Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Madonna & Denise Richards have in common? (Besides that they are all celebrities)

A: They are all Bisexual Straight Women

You’ll agree, this term sounds contradictory right? - Not really. A Bisexual Straight Woman is a woman who frequently makes direct or thinly-veiled comments about being attracted to women, occasionally kisses or sleeps with them, but rarely or never actually dates women. She sees herself primarily as heterosexual, and while she is attracted to women, it’s purely on a sexual level; she has no interest in a romantic relationship with another woman beyond sex.

A recent survey by a popular guy’s magazine shows that 63% of the women surveyed admitted that they would like to sexually experiment with another woman!

Just look around and you’ll see images of women kissing, holding hands and being intimate with each other in magazines, movies and advertising…VOGUE, ELLE and COSMOPOLITAN have featured articles about female bisexuality in recent issues!

In films like Wild Things and Femme Fatale we got to see lots of hot girl-on-girl action and/or threesomes. In acclaimed television shows like SEX and the City, Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Ally McBeal, the topic of bisexuality is openly displayed. In the music industry, the 2 girl duo TATU made a bisexual statement by taking off their clothes and having hundreds of girls kissing on stage and even Britney and Madonna had a tongue kiss on stage during the Recent MTV Awards - This sexual trend is spreading like wild fire all over the world and many people are already benefiting from it!

If you think about it, a threesome is the perfect place for women to experiment with each other without the awkward feeling of being by themselves with a lady for the first time - most bicurious women simply prefer the reassurance of having a man besides them during their first experience with another woman…This reassurance helps them enjoy the soft and creamy touch of another female in a more relaxed way.

What does this mean to you? That your chances of having a threesome had never been better - this is why it’s ESSENTIAL that you learn how to help women transform their secret sexual desires and fantasies into reality… If you learn to do this, having threesomes regularly will be easier than you ever possibly imagined.

How Can You Benefit From The New Sexual Revolution?

If you want to attract threesomes into your life you’ll need to understand the little known psychological secrets that will literally push any woman over the edge to having a threesome with you.

Soon you’ll know how to make her fantasies come alive and as a result you’ll enjoy the pleasure of having sex with two women at the same time. You’ll understand why a 3rd person is an infusion of sexual juice into your love making!

Simply reading this article puts you within arms reach of your threesome…

You’ll agree with me that a whole new sexual revolution has just begun and the fact that you’re reading this article means you are ready to join the selected group of INSIDERS who are already enjoying the benefits of recreational sex as part of their sex life…

Why are women suddenly interested in experimenting with other women?

In reality, this curiosity by heterosexually-identified women isn’t new… What’s new is the increase in public awareness and public acceptance of female bisexuality that will transform the way we look at sex in the next decade…

A recent survey by CLUB magazine shows that 63% of the women surveyed admitted that they would like to sexually experiment with another woman!

The odds have never been more in your favour! Making a threesome happenis not as hard as you think, however you need to know how to make it happen.

If you would like an experienced bisexual woman to assit you in the process

got to: www.stepbystepthreesomes.com

My Friend Suzy says…..What’s the Rush?
A common beginner’s mistake during a threesome session is what I call the “What’s the rush” syndrome. After the long wait most men are so excited about having two girls in their bed that they lose perspective…

They feel they’re the “directors” and insist on showing the way of the action, quickly taking the girls from one act or position to the next in attempt to experience “every aspect” of his fantasy in one single session. Mind you, this is very short-sighted for many reasons…Guys, you should keep the following points in mind:

It’s silly to try everything at once. A threesome is not a Smorgasbord; it’s a seven-course meal. You have to savor each course to the fullest and you’ll enjoy it more that way than trying to fill your plate with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
Bear in mind that your invited friend can have a man any time she wants one. She didn’t come for a penis, (sorry guys, that’s just the way it is) she also came for the pussy. No, I’m not saying that she wants to have the pussy. However highly likely she is curious about experimenting with a female and a threesome gives her a safe and protected environment without having to think that her “lesbian” desires are wrong. If the man is dominantly directing the flow, the experience will become more of a pain than a pleasure.
The man should allow himself to learn about how to really please a woman. Make sure that you allow the women to exercise their own pace and technique or intuition. Watch them kiss, touch and speak to each other. Women make love to each other how they WISH men would make love to them. Without the man interposing his own needs, he can learn what women really want.
Your new friend can find a new couple much easier than you can recruit another woman. Allow her to do as she pleases and give her whatever she wants. If you try to impose your agenda on her pleasure, her search for paradise certainly will take her elsewhere.
The evening will progress slower and will be more fun if the man doesn’t attempt to become the recreational organizer of the evening. The man should guide the women to each other, watch more than participate, give more than take, learn more than teach. This is the secret that will make him be appreciated by the women and that will reward him with more and more threesomes.
The Most Important Ingredient for Success

You need to take into consideration that a woman can get a “wham-bam-thank-you-Ma’am” anytime she feels like it. She doesn’t need you for that. What she’ll always appreciate is the slow, tender love she is missing somewhere else.

Her main attraction to a threesome may be possibility of having the soft tender attention she has always dreamt of. The shy giggles; the long, lingering kisses; the soft, tender touches; the gentle, probing investigation of unexplored spaces; the tranquil discovery of unimagined new pleasures; and the slow, building stimulation of a real seduction.

My advice is to follow the female pace. Remember your friend didn’t join you for a quickie. The best method to make her come back is a long, candle-lit, romantic evening with lots of sweet nothings, dabbling caresses, prolonged kisses, relaxed cuddling and warm, all-accepting shared love (3).

One of the reasons females fantasize about other women is because of the soft tender feelings they know females are able to provide. An FFM threesome is the perfect opportunity for her to experience those feelings without feeling uncomfortable about the fact that she’s involved in “lesbian” behavior.

As I mentioned earlier, most women are bi-curious. If you provide the possibility of a non threatening experience, where she can explore the soft and tender touch of another woman and the warmth and strength of a man, she’ll be delighted.

Once and for all: the real secret for successful FFM threesome is to focus on your friend, not on your own pleasure. Your pleasure is a by-product of providing pleasure to your friend.

An FFM threesome will always be more enjoyable when seen as a selfless act of providing pleasure to the invited friend. I’ve found that this type of behavior also influences your love making as a couple. Because your husband or steady partner, being aware of how to deal with two women, he also learns how to deal better with his own woman while you’re just by yourselves!

Check out her tips and Make YOUR Threesome Fantasy Come True!!

One of the many challenges men have is to decide on what positions to use when getting booty. The biggest fears are that the woman will get bored with the "same old, same old" and as a result lose interest in sex. So the question becomes, what are the best sexual positions? The best way to explain this is to talk about what NOT to do. With that in mind, I’ll now talk about the top five mistakes guys make when it comes to sexual positions, so that way you won’t continue making them. Position Mistake 1: Imitating anything seen in a porn movie. This is probably the biggest reason that guys fail with sexual positions. Inexperienced guys think porn is a good model because they see studs banging beautiful broads, and… well, they just don’t know any better. The problem is that sexual positions in those sorts of movies are meant to display a good scene for viewers, not to maximize pleasure for the actors. And in fact, one of the WORST positions for clitoral and vaginal stimulation is when the woman puts her ankles on your shoulders. With her pelvis bent back that far, she can feel pain in her cervix if you push in too far. Plus it’s a position that puts pressure. (If you ever have a chance to go behind the scenes and watch the making of an adult movie, you’ll see how quickly the mood gets killed when the actress keeps having to stop the scene to go to the bathroom!) Position Mistake 2: Trying too hard to keep your weight off the woman, in any position. To a woman, sex is a way to get closer to her man. She loves it when he leans on the underside of her thighs. So here’s a tip for you to try… Next time you’re having sex with your woman (while you’re engaged in actual intercourse, that is), get more of your weight on her. You see, during sex, almost every woman enjoys feeling her man’s body pressed hard against her. So how much weight should you put on her? Make it enough so that after you come, and the sexual frenzy dissipates, your woman will tell you that she feels like she’s being smooshed. Of course, do this within limits! If you’re on top off her grinding her pubic bone for too long, it can feel painful for her. But the bottom line is that many, many women like to be pressured by at least some of the man’s weight. So save the gentlemanly sex for the royal family’s women! Position Mistake 3: Letting the woman do all the work when she’s on top. For virtually every woman, sex is mostly a passive activity. So by being the motionless beta male, you destroy the whole purpose of sex for her, which is to open herself up to you penetrating into her body. Position Mistake 4: Being a wimp. A lot of guys have read too many "Men are From Mars"-type books and think women like it if you ask permission for everything and let them take the lead. Be the alpha male instead and just "do it." Flip her over, move her here and there. Be aggressive and even toss her about like a rag doll when you want to change positions, and… she’ll LOVE it! And don’t worry about it. If something is going on that the woman doesn’t like, she’ll let you know. Position Mistake 5: Thinking the trickier positions are better. You don’t need to be upside down, hanging from a lamp, and doing something crazy. Just be normal. An old standby like the missionary (man on top, woman lying on her back) can be the best sexual position. Tricky positions are just frustrating for everybody and often kill the mood because there’s too much "where should I put my arm?"… and not enough "let’s just have fun exploring." By John Alexander

 The Number One Secret Behind the Alpha Male’s Body Language
By John Alexander
Author,  "How to Become an Alpha Male"  CLICK HERE TO GET THE SECRETS!! 

Watch a man with high status–Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or the CEO where you work–and you’ll notice that he moves differently than the rest of us. He gives off vibes that he is hot stuff, and because of that, women get soaking wet over him.

You, too, can create that aura that makes you attractive to women.

Have you ever noticed the way your friends look when they’re all nervous? They’re looking down at the ground with their arms crossed, fidgeting, with their voices cracking and their eyes bugged out.

And when you give off that kind of body language yourself, women don’t want to be around you.

Now, think about successful guys. They’ve got girls all over them and some great body language going on.

So, what’s the number one secret between those high status guys and the low status guys? You’ve probably guessed it… the alpha males are relaxed and in control when it comes to social situations.

Make no mistake about it… relaxation is the most important mental state for you to be in.

With that in mind, here are some pointers for you to develop the mindset and body language of an alpha male (and by the way, if you think they’re easy, you’re right… you can make these changes as early as tonight and have even the hottest girls clamoring for your attention):

1. Don’t allow yourself to feel worried. Just let your worries go, since you can’t solve any problem by worrying. So suck it up, and quit thinking about what might go wrong. Just live life.

Now, I know what I just said is easier said than done (to use an old–but relevant in this case–cliche). You’ve spent your whole life up until now dwelling on thoughts that make you feel worried.

But what is this emotion we call "worry"? When you think about it, it’s simply the fear of what might happen in the future. Essentially you’re punishing yourself by feeling upset before anything bad has happened. It makes no logical sense to worry!

So the solution is to avoid contemplating your worrisome thoughts anymore. Identify them for what they are… toxic to your emotional state, and… let them go.

Simply not dwelling on negative outcomes that make you feel upset will reduce 90% of your worries.

2. A second strategy to relax is to breathe through your abdomen rather than your chest.

When you breathe, imagine that you’re bringing air down to your stomach. Feel your belly rise and fall as you breathe.

3. Avoid nonverbal behaviors that are the opposite of relaxation:

- Raising your shoulders.
- Wrinkling your forehead.
- Fidgeting with your hands and/or legs.
- Tightening your facial muscles.

4. Relax all your muscles and slow down all of your movements a notch.

Alpha males generally move unhurriedly, as if they are in control of time itself. Beta males are nervous and make jerky movements. Imagine you are standing and walking through a swimming pool, where your movements are slow and fluid.

5. Relax your eyes and eyelids.

Beta males hold their eyelids wide open because they are so nervous. Their eyes dart all around. Instead let your eyelids rest. Look straight ahead. Only give things your attention if they interest you. While you’re out and about, do the affirmation to yourself, "I am sexual, I am relaxed, and I am in control."

6. If someone wants your attention, move your head slowly.

A trait common to many beta males is being so eager to please that when someone calls their name, you see them spin their heads toward the person unnaturally fast.

John Alexander is author of HOW TO BECOME AN ALPHA MALE … a seduction success guide for men. Learn more advanced tips on how to develop the mind set and body language of an alpha male.

Choose one sexual position from the list below every day and ensure the session lasts for a minimum of 30 minutes. Positions should be varied depending on the area of the body needing toning / definition.

Check our Top Tips for how to maximise your sex workout!
Workout potential: Calorie Burn = 150

Top Tips:

Male Holding onto the women’s thighs and pulling you towards her will give a deeper abdominal workout. Female Tilting the pelvis forward, rotating the hips in a circular motion will workout the waistline.

Reclining Opposites

Workout potential: Calorie Burn = 170

Top Tips:

Male Lifting the bottom for longer periods will give the hamstring a conditioning workout. Also concentrating on the hip thrusting movements will give the abdominals a deeper workout. Female Focus on quality hip movement will work and condition the pelvis and abdominals.

Famous Knot

Workout potential: Calorie Burn = 180

Top Tips:

Male Climbing over the woman into a squatting position with legs either side of her will intensively work out the front of the upper leg, the bottom and inner and outer thighs. Female Move the hips in a rotating circular motion to tone the waist and area around the sides of the stomach.

The Doggy

Workout potential: Calorie Burn = 140
Top Tips:

Male To give the back of the upper arm, chest and shoulders an extra workout bend the arms to lower your chest towards the womans body then extend them to push away from her. Female Using your hands, pull yourself up towards the man and hold onto him to work the upper arms and the area below the armpits.

The Box

Workout potential: Calorie Burn = 120
Top Tips:
Male By leaning further backwards allowing the arms to support more weight the upper arm area and shoulders will get a great workout. Also, boost the toning effect on the bottom by easing the hips back and forth.

Female Get rid of flabby upper arms by leaning back, adopting a similar position to the man. This will help tone and define the upper arms.

The Jointer

Additional positions to spice up your week:
The Missionary

Top Tips:

Male Use the feet to push the body forwards to work out the calves. Female Isolating the upper body will place emphasis on quality pelvis and abdominal movement to condition the stomach and bottom.

The Wall Stand

Top Tips:

Male Place hands under her bottom and pull her up towards you. This will work out the front of the upper arm and the upper back. Additional squatting will work the fronts of the thigh. Female - Take the arms away from your partner’s shoulders and tilt the hips to give the abdominals an extra workout. This will also help tone the inner and outer thigh.

Extra cheeky tips to maximise every sex session:
Don’t forget that the more activity you can squeeze into your sex sessions the more calories you will burn so make sure you always warm up and warm down!

Foreplay

French kissing burns 90 calories during a 30-minute session so the longer you can go without breath the better!

Kissing has a toning effect on the neck muscles and will also condition the cheekbone and chin areas. Now there’s no excuse for a double chin!

A vigorous session can help you burn an extra 120 calories during a 30-minute session.

Oral sex will help tone the entire facial area which is definitely good news! And for all the ladies, semen contains vitamin C which is extremely beneficial to the skin who said you needed to take supplements! There is however a flip side, one teaspoon of semen contains 7 calories so please limit your intake!

Masturbation

For all you singletons out there, a vigorous masturbation session can help burn up to 300 calories who said you needed sex?!

If you’re a man, masturbation will tone and strengthen the upper and lower arms.

Orgasms

Having an orgasm will not only ensure you have a great sex session but will also release endorphins into the bloodstream helping you to burn calories, relieve tension and calm those junk food cravings.

This is from FemaleFirst.co.uk….leave it to the Brits to come up with stuff like this…  We’re sure there’s more…..perhaps HedoDoc can fill in some more, or YOU!??

This journal entry is for those who are in a true “relationship” and considering alternative lifestyles, swinging, wife swapping, or whatever you want to call it. If you are NOT in a committed relationship, and are thinking about spicing up a relatively new romance, this article is really not for you. In this latter case, you are looking to “co-date” and share casual sex with a partner, but are fundamentally single at heart. There is a place for this too, as there is a range of naughty lifestyles. However, it is not really part of the swinging alternative lifestyle as practiced within a committed couple mainstream.

So, perhaps you have been together for a while or perhaps not quite as long, but you both consider yourselves in a committed relationship or marriage. You think you know a lot about the one you’re with, but maybe you don’t know all there is to know…….yet. Hmmm, consider the mystery. A little mystery is good. Here is where the naughty fun can start, no matter how far along the naughty lifestyles continuum you end up. One thing is as sure as taxes and death, relationships get “comfortable”. Sexually speaking, this is often code for boring. Of course, there is a range to boring, but in many cases the passion fades so far that it all but disappears. This is OK for some couples, as all their other relationship interests are simply over-riding….but are you sure your partner feels that way? Don’t be surprised someday to find out about that little escapade, or affair or other sexual things about your partner on the, uhhh, deceitful side. This is not to say that you have to live in paranoia, but the more “comfortable”, the higher the risk for a little fling due to an unfilled need. How does one keep that passion, that hot naughty fire inside alive to avoid this? Well, beyond taking the time to enjoy your partner, using new techniques, toys, visual aids, making sure you are attractive to your mate (i.e. whip your ass into some kind of acceptable shape), there is always sex therapy, psychobabble etc. etc. This might work for some and not for others. Fundamentally, there is a need to constantly change it up, and the extent to which you need to do that is the question. The answer differs from couple to couple. But consider this very strongly; sexual passion is an animal desire. It’s more on the lust side than the love side of the equation. It’s what gets the juices flowing. If that is important to you, then perhaps you yearn to take part in the range of naughty lifestyles available to you. The question is, are both of you on the same page? Or, do you know? How do you know?

Perhaps you have started your search on the internet. Maybe you have run into a few lifestyles/swingers sites like NaughtyLifestyles.com. Depending upon how open minded you are, it may seem strictly taboo and overwhelming. But consider taking it a step and a time…..ease in, don’t jump in with both feet before you know how deep it is. Read a little on sites that address this topic with some degree of intelligence, including the pros vs. cons. Know that there is a range of naughty couple fun, not just one flavor. Many couples get into trouble by “accidentally” playing with another woman or man or couple while FUI (that’s code for fucking under the influence aka FWI or fucking while intoxicated). Bad scene in most cases….so NO, never that!

So, you think you might fit somewhere within the naughty lifestyles continuum? The next question is, would your partner go for it? Would they be as excited as you are to try it? How do you even approach the subject without your partner feeling that they may be less than what you expected? Try to think about it from the other person’s point of view; how do you know your partner hasn’t been wanting to try something new and different also? There’s only one way to find out. You’re going to have to belly up and broach the subject, and here again easing into the subject is better than charging ahead like a bull. One major piece of advice: in this situation there is no such thing as “talking someone into it”. It will either strike a negative or a positive chord, probably somewhere in between unless you two are very much on the same page with most other things in you life. If the immediate reaction is way negative, back off and reassess. Perhaps a more subliminal or subtle approach is in order. Consider making comments while viewing an erotic film about how excited you might be to see him/her with another partner. The comment can be very explicit or merely mildly suggestive. Perhaps a comment about how hot it would be to watch another man’s cock sliding in and out of her wet and receptive pussy. Or how hot it would be to watch another woman’s pussy riding and grinding his cock. A twist might be naughty talk about how a little girl-girl play might be enticing to you. On the mild side, perhaps just suggesting the experience of having real couples in the same room (not touching each other but nude and playing), is enough of a suggestion. Maybe a hot tub “touch and tickle” suggestion? Who knows, you have to be creative and judge what your partner’s level of interest might be.

If your partner is not even into adult erotica, perhaps you need to explore sexuality between the two of you a bit more first. Remember, this is not a “replacement” proposition. The idea is more of an “enhancement” to your sensuality and sexuality. On the other hand, perhaps you enjoy hot sex with each other but just don’t like porn. OK, if that is the case, consider renting the 2004 release video “My Best Friend’s Wife” starring John Stamos. It is an R-rated comedy with some serious twists regarding two couples (really the two husbands) exploring the concept of swapping. In this case it is a situation between people who have known each other for a long time…..not usually the case in the swinging lifestyle. However, you get the idea. Watch the movie and observe his/her reaction to various parts…..talk about it during or after the movie. Passive encouraging comments might get you further at first…..like “that’s pretty hot” or “that’s sexy”, rather than, “hey I think we need to do this with our friends”. In this movie, everyone has an agreed upon “fling” and moves on with life, but you can see where things might have gone differently. Also, this is a movie where the suggestion is one on one sex at a remote location, not a couple with couple thing. The idea is to explore how receptive your partner might be to mutually agreed upon “playing” in some way.

Another way to consider breaking in the idea is at a lifestyle friendly clothing optional resort. Desire in Cancun Mexico is a couples only clothing optional place where you can do as much as you want, or as little as you want. The Hedo resorts are a bit more hard core in the sense that the “nude side” means no clothes and many of the couples are swingers. It is also mixed company, where singles are allowed. You are more likely to get propositioned there before you are ready. Don’t get us wrong, we enjoy both, but we give the edge to Desire as a “starter” resort.

Closer to home, an erotic party at a club might be the way to go. The “off-premise” clubs might offer a great start. In these clubs, no sex is allowed at the club…just a lot of sexy clothing (or lack thereof) and dancing. There is a range of the type of club and what is allowed. You can find these online, or click on our “friends” links at Naughty Lifestyles. We are building a list for you. When you go, who knows, you might meet a couple that you like who can guide you along or perhaps a couple just like you…..just exploring.

What happens when you set something up to meet someone? Before going beyond same room nudity and light touching, make sure you discuss the boundaries with your partner. Make sure you agree that you will both only go as far as some certain agreed-upon point or have some signal that things are too uncomfortable for one or the other. Again, a simple agreement to ease into things may be all you need to start with, since “over-talking” this can be a turn-off or downer. Just make sure you have engaged your brain before putting your cock or pussy into high gear. And remember, no FUI or FWI blotto free for all that might get you in trouble.

Who knows what could happen from there. Anything is possible! And, you might just find out it was worth taking the risk after all!

Keep the fire alive…..get playful and stay playful.